Journal of a Mu’takifah pt.5

25 Ramadhaan 1437 @ 13:25 p.m.

Mood: content
Para: 13- Khatam 2
Nafl namaaz read: Almost ALL
Daily sunnat: Sunnats of Friday
Fave part of today: Recieving a hadya(gift)
Today I make shukr for: Warm and cool clothes
Today I make taubah for: Talking nonsense
Itikaaf day: five

 Bismillahirrahmanir Raheem. All praise is due to Allah(SWT), the Lord of the worlds, He alone do we worship and He alone do we ask for help.

The tap’s still dripping. (Hear that? It’s the sound of me grinding my teeth in frustration)
Anyhoo, Alima Apa (the matron at the Madressah) gifted us with some Friday outfits in the spirit of Jumuah (you know the whole “wear your best clothes” thing). Mines is quite pretty, it’s a pink and tan punjabi with blue beads (not very good at describing clothes but I try). Apa’s so sweet MaShaaAllah. May Allah(SWT) grant her a long, healthy life and Jannatul Firdaus, aameen.

There’s only 5 days left to go! I can’t believe how fast the time is going. I’m so excited for Eid but eish, I’m so scared… I’m so worried that my I’tikaaf might not be accepted…

No. InShaaAllah it will be. I’m trying my best and I’m making sincere dua that Allah(SWT) will accept my I’tikaaf because of that. Staying away from haraam is a lot harder than I expected though, blabbermouths like aren’t all that great at shutting up and I’m scared I’ve spoken too much… My nafs is really strong. You don’t realize just how much wrong your nafs is accustomed to until Shaitaan is locked away. You think you’ve got everything under control and then *BAM!* Ramadhaan comes and you realize that all the desire to do wrong wasn’t Shaitaan’s wasawasa after all. That’s when the panic should set in and you should start taking stock of yourself because if you keep allowing your nafs to run rampant, there’s only one place it’s gonna lead you.. scary but true.It’s not always waswasa that makes us bad people, it’s temperament. The tongue will speak out and the body will act out what it is accustomed to. May Allah(SWT) forgive, save and change for the better not only me, but the entire Ummat, aameen. Without Him, I swear we’re all lost and all our Ibadat amounts to nothing.

If there’s anything I have sincere hope in however, it’s His mercy. InShaaAllah I’ll be alive next year to sit in a manner 10x more virtuous and filled with Ibadat than this one, aameen. For this one, I just make dua that I’ll be rewarded for the good I’ve done and pardoned for the bad.

For Iftaar we had Chicken Tikka and pies. There were leftovers for both, I make shukr but also eish, too many leftovers means a lot of the food doesn’t get eaten and I have no idea what to do with it. *facepalm*
For sehri I had the chicken in a sandwich and a  lovely cup of tea from the girls.
I learned a bit of Tafseer (translation of the Quraan Shareef) from Apa Humairah. Subhanallah, Ilm is so beautiful. May Allah(SWT) accept us all to be flagbearers of His beautiful Deen.

“Believe you can achieve it and you will.”

I hope you enjoyed, take lesson and never forget to remember Allah(SWT) in everything you do.

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