Journal of a Mu’takifah pt.9

29 Ramadhaan 1437 @ 08:35 a.m.

Mood: happy
Para: 28- Khatam 2
Nafl namaaz read: ALL
Daily sunnat: Sleep on your right side
Fave part of today: Tasbih
Today I make shukr for: Taps that don’t drip
Today I make taubah for: Deficiency in my Ibadat
Itikaaf day: nine

Bismillahirrahmanir Raheem. All praise is due to Allah(SWT), the Lord of the worlds, He alone do we worship and He alone do we ask for help.

Today might be my last day sitting in I’tikaaf. X”( Tomorrow might be Eid. I really don’t know if I want Ramadhaan to end tonight or tomorrow night. On the one hand, one more day of Ibadat could make make all the difference but on the other hand, I really do miss my family…

The tap… is still… dripping. I really hope they fix it soon. It’s an extreme amount of waste and I keep feeling like I contributed to that Israaf. It makes me want to just drop my head down in shame and cry. May Allah(SWT) save me In Shaa Allah. I’ve been making weird contraptions with buckets and packets trying in vain to save water but really there isn’t much more I can do. They need to call a proper plumber.

I’m almost done with my khatam. Apa Humairah just finished her 6th and started with her 7th! Ma Shaa Allah. In Shaa Allah one day I’ll also achieve that, aameen.

I had a good Ibadat night last night, Alhamdulillah. In Shaa Allah I’ll keep up that drive even after Ramadhaan. My salaah is improving Alhamdulillah. I think those duas that Apa Sabeeha gave and Ml. Zulfiqar Naqshabdi (D.B)’s advice on correcting your postures have really helped. It’s by no means perfect but I’m trying and I think that’s what counts at the end of the day. In Shaa Allah I can keep this khushu and improve in the future.

I’m really going to miss this place and these wonderful people. I’m going to miss Ramadhaan. The whole feel and atmosphere… you really can’t get it anywhere else in the year. It wasn’t my greatest but it was still pretty good. In Shaa Allah next year I’ll have the opportunity to do even better.

For iftaar I had Kouse soup and burger, and for sehri it was eggs, a banana and coffee. It was possibly my last sehri…  my last muzakarah… my last day of I’tikaaf…

In Shaa Allah all my, and all the Muslims’ around the world, Ibadat was accepted, all our sins are forgiven and we’re granted complete Hidayat and enter Jannatul Firdaus, aameen.

“Increase in the remembrance of the terminator of all pleasures (death).”

I hope you enjoyed, take lesson and never forget to remember Allah(SWT) in everything you do.

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