Journal of a Mu’takifah pt.8

28 Ramadhaan 1437 @ 08:10 a.m.

Mood: home  book sick
Para: 23- Khatam 2
Nafl namaaz read: almost ALL
Daily sunnat: Read Bismillah and preactise what you’ve learnt
Fave part of today: Salaatut Tasbih
Today I make shukr for: Beautiful eyes
Today I make taubah for: Not lowering my gaze
Itikaaf day: eight

Bismillahirrahmanir Raheem. All praise is due to Allah(SWT), the Lord of the worlds, He alone do we worship and He alone do we ask for help.

It’s even colder today than it was yesterday! It’s so cold that there’s fog misting up the windows (thus making the hall even more of a freezer than it already is). It’s the perfect day to get into bed with a nice, hot cup of coffee and a good murder mystery…

I can’t believe there’s only 2 days left of my I’tikaaf! It flew by so fast. It was so beautiful Alhamdulillah. In Shaa Allah I’ll get the opportunity to sit again, with more sincerity, better Ibadat and an even greater connection to Allah(SWT). I hope I’m granted full reward and maghfirat for my shortcomings in this one.

For Iftaar yesterday, the Malaysian aunty made for us lekker things. There was veggie rice, chicken soup, soy eggs and pasta. It was too awesome and it all tasted so GOOD! Alhamdulillah, we all thoroughly enjoyed it.

I miss my family. I can’t wait to see all of them at Eid In Shaa Allah…

“Just one deed could be the difference between Jannah and Jahannum.”

I hope you enjoyed, take lesson and never forget to remember Allah(SWT) in everything you do.

Check out my website here

I’ve got Him (a poem)

I’ve got Allah(SWT), I’m good

My life is going exactly as it should

I have done everything that I could

He’s watched out for me, as I knew He would.

I’ve got Allah(SWT), I’ll be just fine

I am His and He is mine

I’ve acknowledged each and every sign

His love for me is so sublime.

I’ve got Allah(SWT), I’m happy

I fee so very completely free

I’m so consumed by ecstasy

My heart is content as long as He’s with me.

I’ve got Allah(SWT), come what may

He’s the only reason I’m still alive today.

Journal of a Mu’takifah pt.7

27 Ramadhaan 1437 @ 07:00 p.m.

Mood: 50/50
Para: 23- Khatam 2
Nafl namaaz read: ALL
Daily sunnat: Read the dua when sneezing
Fave part of today: Misbah ❤
Today I make shukr for: When the weather is good or bad
Today I make taubah for: Vulgar language
Itikaaf day: seven

 

Bismillahirrahmanir Raheem. All praise is due to Allah(SWT), the Lord of the worlds, He alone do we worship and He alone do we ask for help.

My bestie Misbah came to visit today. It was awesome. We’ve known each other for 12 years, basically our whole lives. We’re like that old married couple who complain about the world together, stick up for one another and drive each other crazy but still couldn’t live without each other. We’ve been through sleepovers, holidays and first crushes together. Any big decision going on in each other’s lives, you best believe the other knows about it. I was really happy to see her, it’s nice to see someone familiar (besides my mother) after so many days. She says she’s going into full-time Hijaab and I couldn’t be happier for her, I’d support her to the ends of the earth. True friendship isn’t about texting each other late into the morning about things that don’t really matter. It’s about knowing that even if you don’t speak for weeks, the second you do, it’ll be like you never stopped and they’ll always be there for you, no matter what.

It’s still pretty cold. I’d love it if I was in my warm bed at home but eish, Deen comes with sacrifice right? Besides, Allah(SWT) increases your reward when you persist in doing good actions though it may be difficult on you. In Shaa Allah I must increase my Ibadat.

I had a toasted chips, cheese and steak sandwich for sehri and pasta for Iftaar yesterday. Alima Apa brought us delicious fresh cream cake as a special post-taraweeh snack. It was absolutely ah-mazing. I’ve gotten pretty close to these people I’m with. I almost feel like I belong with them. Here in I’tikaaf it’s like everything is right in the world and nobody can mess up your zen. It’s like you’re in an unbreakable connection with Allah(SWT). Sure, there’ll be times when you get distracted and you might stray a little but you always manage to pull yourself back on track. It’s one of the believer’s most endearing qualities, the ability to get back up after you’ve been pushed down.

One of the Malaysian girl’s parents came to take her home for Eid and they’re staying in the Madressah temporarily. We got to meet her sister and it was hella enlightening. The kid’s only 9 but she already knows how to speak 4 (!!!) languages namely, Malay, English, Chinese and Korean. It’s so cool. I hope one day I can speak 4 languages or more In Shaa Allah.

“The Ibadat that you were certain was your best, is most probably your worst. (One should never stop trying to improve their Ibadat)”

I hope you enjoyed, take lesson and never forget to remember Allah(SWT) in everything you do.

Check out my website here

The 7 intentions of good actions(A’mal)

  1. Oh Allah, you are giving me the Taufeeq to do this A’mal and it’s outcome is in your hands.
  2. Oh Allah, I’m doing this A’mal to obey your command and to follow the Sunnah of Nabi(SAW).
  3. To think of the virtue of the A’mal.
  4. Oh Allah, You can see me, You can hear me, You know what is in my heart and You are always with me.
  5. I am not worthy of doing this A’mal but everyone else who is doing it are. By means of their acceptance, accept my A’mal as well.
  6. Oh Allah, I’m doing this A’mal only for your pleasure.
  7. Oh Allah, accept this A’mal as a means of Hidayat for the entire humanity.

I hope you enjoyed, take lesson and never forget to remember Allah(SWT) in everything you do.

Check out my website here

Journal of a Mu’takifah pt.6

26 Ramadhaan 1437 @ 10:00 a.m.

Mood: cold *brrr*
Para: 17- Khatam 2
Nafl namaaz read: ALL
Daily sunnat: Dust the bed
Fave part of today: Late night snacks
Today I make shukr for: Being born Muslim
Today I make taubah for: Leading people astray
Itikaaf day: six

 Bismillahirrahmanir Raheem. All praise is due to Allah(SWT), the Lord of the worlds, He alone do we worship and He alone do we ask for help.

Alima Nur is leaving today. *sob* It’s strange how close I’ve gotten to these people in just 5 days. I guess that’s what happens when you’re with them 24/7. Alhamdulillah that I’ve met them though, they’re such lovely people. Perhaps it would’ve been better if to get to know them out of I’tikaaf but… I doubt I would’ve so…
I should stop eating FOOD food at sehri, I think it gives me a tummy ache. I had pizza, jungle oats and pasta. For supper, I had super yummy pasta and soup.

It’s really cold today, I think we’re having a cold front. Alhamdulillah though, all conditions come from Allah(SWT). I think I’m going to keep my wudhu for the day though, it’s waayy too cold to open the taps and considering how cold it is today, I think any moment that I’m not reading namaaz, I’m just gonna stay in my blanket and make zikr.

The darn tap is still dripping. Uggghhhh! They were supposed to fix it… still waiting.

Last night we had a mini send-off for Alima Nur with savories, custard and tennis biscuits. Madressah life is weird, but also super awesome. I wish I could be a part of it, InShaaAlla one day. Then we plaited Apa Humairah’s hair. It was a good night.

“If you can’t exceed the pious in A’mal, at least exceed the sinners in Taubah.”

I hope you enjoyed, take lesson and never forget to remember Allah(SWT) in everything you do.

Check out my website here

I’m just a teen (a poem)

I’m just a teenager, just like you.
I’ve also felt all the things you sometimes do.

I’m just a teenager, in more ways than one.
I also like to let my hijab down and have a little fun.

I also love junk food although I hate calories.
I also love clothes and shoes even though I’ve got no money.

I love my family even though they drive me insane.
I’d do anything please them though my efforts sometimes go in vain.

I want to be able to wish my flab away, have a size zero figure I see every day.
I want to be liked, no loved by all I see, without having to change ‘ME’.

I’m also a little insecure, immature and half-baked, but have a little faith,
when I get out of the oven I’m going to be something great!

I also love texting and talking. Technology could be my second best friend.
If you ignore me, I’ll get upset, but I’ll come running back in the end.
I also get depressed and down, sometimes my face is in a permanent frown.

Yes, I’m just a teenager, just like you, I also love the same things that you do.

Don’t try to understand me, you’ll never be able to.
Just listen and advise, that’s why I come to you.

All I want is a little love, someone to guide me,
a bodyguard, a bestie, a sister, HONESTY.

Don’t let me down, ‘coz after all, I’m just a teenager,
just like you, I also feel all the things that you sometimes do.

 

I hope you enjoyed, take lesson and never forget to remember Allah(SWT) in everything you do.

Check out my website here

Journal of a Mu’takifah pt.5

25 Ramadhaan 1437 @ 13:25 p.m.

Mood: content
Para: 13- Khatam 2
Nafl namaaz read: Almost ALL
Daily sunnat: Sunnats of Friday
Fave part of today: Recieving a hadya(gift)
Today I make shukr for: Warm and cool clothes
Today I make taubah for: Talking nonsense
Itikaaf day: five

 Bismillahirrahmanir Raheem. All praise is due to Allah(SWT), the Lord of the worlds, He alone do we worship and He alone do we ask for help.

The tap’s still dripping. (Hear that? It’s the sound of me grinding my teeth in frustration)
Anyhoo, Alima Apa (the matron at the Madressah) gifted us with some Friday outfits in the spirit of Jumuah (you know the whole “wear your best clothes” thing). Mines is quite pretty, it’s a pink and tan punjabi with blue beads (not very good at describing clothes but I try). Apa’s so sweet MaShaaAllah. May Allah(SWT) grant her a long, healthy life and Jannatul Firdaus, aameen.

There’s only 5 days left to go! I can’t believe how fast the time is going. I’m so excited for Eid but eish, I’m so scared… I’m so worried that my I’tikaaf might not be accepted…

No. InShaaAllah it will be. I’m trying my best and I’m making sincere dua that Allah(SWT) will accept my I’tikaaf because of that. Staying away from haraam is a lot harder than I expected though, blabbermouths like aren’t all that great at shutting up and I’m scared I’ve spoken too much… My nafs is really strong. You don’t realize just how much wrong your nafs is accustomed to until Shaitaan is locked away. You think you’ve got everything under control and then *BAM!* Ramadhaan comes and you realize that all the desire to do wrong wasn’t Shaitaan’s wasawasa after all. That’s when the panic should set in and you should start taking stock of yourself because if you keep allowing your nafs to run rampant, there’s only one place it’s gonna lead you.. scary but true.It’s not always waswasa that makes us bad people, it’s temperament. The tongue will speak out and the body will act out what it is accustomed to. May Allah(SWT) forgive, save and change for the better not only me, but the entire Ummat, aameen. Without Him, I swear we’re all lost and all our Ibadat amounts to nothing.

If there’s anything I have sincere hope in however, it’s His mercy. InShaaAllah I’ll be alive next year to sit in a manner 10x more virtuous and filled with Ibadat than this one, aameen. For this one, I just make dua that I’ll be rewarded for the good I’ve done and pardoned for the bad.

For Iftaar we had Chicken Tikka and pies. There were leftovers for both, I make shukr but also eish, too many leftovers means a lot of the food doesn’t get eaten and I have no idea what to do with it. *facepalm*
For sehri I had the chicken in a sandwich and a  lovely cup of tea from the girls.
I learned a bit of Tafseer (translation of the Quraan Shareef) from Apa Humairah. Subhanallah, Ilm is so beautiful. May Allah(SWT) accept us all to be flagbearers of His beautiful Deen.

“Believe you can achieve it and you will.”

I hope you enjoyed, take lesson and never forget to remember Allah(SWT) in everything you do.

Check out my website here